1 vote
Jun 25, 2015

I believe it should, but there is a limit. Anything that seems too harsh whereby you embarrass the child, or hurt them severely I see as excessive. Coming from a child who was spanked, it worked on me, but I vividly remember snapping when my father started being excessive and using items such as a belt and wooden spoon to hit me with. I don't see that as okay, not in the slightest. If you can't get the message through with your hand, find another way.

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1 vote,
Jul 31, 2015

I especially agree with the last sentence.

For me, the ongoing threat was worse than the actual beating. Made me wish for a belt or wooden spoon, to be honest (the situation you describe reminds me of mine in an opposite way, hence the comparison). At least that would have given me an excuse to hit them back. As they were aware of this, the scary atmosphere endured.

Spanking could create fear for corporal punishment, but a child is sensitive enough to anticipate a reaction for whatever behavior it exhibits. So maybe it doesn't even need spanking to be disciplined. On the other hand, spanking is the least damaging form of child discipline of the physical kind, like a compromise or a trade-off. It could be argued that (generally speaking, not to deny your personal experience with excessive disciplining) spanking is 'necessary' as a form of long-term imprinting in the developmental stage. At the same time, it could raise the threshold/tolerance for disciplining from then on.

I wonder how being spanked (or beaten) during the developmental stage influences people's emotional/intellectual development in relationship to others, compared to the ones who weren't. Having grown up as someone who feared corporal punishment, I'm often suprised at other grown-up people not taking no for an answer or getting a hint (or perhaps even anticipate other people's discomfort caused by their behavior). It's like I actually need to physically hurt them or say something mean to make them not steal my belongings, pay back borrowed money, respect personal boundaries or care about others.

Yes, I actually care about what others think because I am not a psychopath. I am aware of the consequences of my actions, am capable of feeling empathy and remorse and I don't need (nor have I ever needed) a slap in my face/bum to be reminded of other people's needs, desires and rules.

I'm interested whether these people have been spanked/punished too much as a child (so words don't work), or that they haven't experienced (their own) pain (enough) yet (let alone the pain of others).

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